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” My father pours coffee.“If I buy it, it’ll mean I care.”“You do care.” My mother looks at me over her reading glasses.“Well, I don’t want you-know-who to know that! ” My mother sets down her i Phone, clearly resigned to the fact that Words with Friends will have to wait.“Yes.”“For how long now? ” My father leaves the room.“It is perfectly acceptable to buy the person you’re dating a Christmas present after five months,” my mother says.“It would be fucked up if you didn’t!

” My dad yells from the living room.“You got engaged at two months,” I yell back.“So?

There are just so many unanswered questions: Do they like you? Or, if you’ve only been out a few times, is a gift even required? To assist in your quest for the perfect (or at least not completely mortifying) gift, I’ve put together some rough guidelines. ” If he blows it off, play it safe and stick with the guidelines above. A flask, a beer mug, a respectable bottle of booze. If you go the highly impersonal fruit basket or gift card route, it can come off as lazy or like you just don’t care. Be sure to explain your thought process as you present her with this precious offering.

What if one of you spends WAY more money than the other? Make note: the recommendations are different for men and women, because generally speaking, the sexes have differing views when it comes to gift giving. If he asks about yours and hints that he might get you something, you might be safe to go a 1. But only if you get them dirt cheap on Goldstar and it’s a band you like, too. She will appreciate it and you will score major points.

A few years ago I went out of my way, searched high and low and spent far too much of my paycheck on a thoughtful gift for a guy I had been casually dating for several months (he kept saying didn’t want to “rush it”). Now, I realize some of you may be scoffing, saying to yourself, these ideas suck! Above all, keep in mind that while gift giving to new flames can be stressful, it is indeed a problem of the first world order.

—but you’re not sure what the going rate is on Christmas gifts.

Maybe you’re a few weeks in, or a couple months in.

Because this meant I cared far more than he did – and we both knew it. Sadly, many of my girlfriends have had similar experiences.

Guys can get freaked out and feel pressured if you lavish gifts upon them too early in a relationship. If you feel oddly compelled to give something, bake him some homemade banana bread or a pie.

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